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Re-entry adjustment problems are going to rise in the face of anyone returning home from long-extended stays in a foreign land. The first experiences returning home may be much like the first ones felt when arriving in that foreign land at the beginning of your posting.
A sense of detachment, not belonging, couple with the unfamiliarity of sights and sounds may just revisit you on your return home. Although children are much more accepting of any newness around them, older children, especially teens, tend to not only fight change, but some naturally rebel against it. Unfortunately, although possibly six foot tall with an afternoon growth, minor teenagers usually don’t have a say when their parents make a decision about an international move. Resentment about such a move can lead to inappropriate behaviors, especially when faced with claims you’re ruining their lives, they’ll never see their friends again and so on. Although you’re quite sure they’ll get over it and will, in fact, enjoy the experience once it gets underway, take a few minor steps toward pacifying an older child so not only will their expatriate experience be less caustic, the eventual return to your native land can be less stressful than if you did nothing.
Today’s number one communication device for pre-teens, teens and young adults is the computer – followed up rapidly by the cell phone. Many companies posting families to overseas assignments make Internet and cell phone use part of the benefits accepting the move. If your pre-teen, teen or even young adult family member is assured access to their “life,” than the transition may be smoother than you expect.
Furthermore, through use of the Internet, children can find others who have either already experienced what they are going through or may find “expert” advice that helps them cope with the stresses accompanying any international move.
Additionally, both computer connections as well as phone access to friends and family left behind will allow your child to maintain at least a “cyber” relationship while living abroad. Also, the popular use of webcam technology keeps people visually in touch with people, places and things. Many familiar “back home” landmarks train cameras on welcome sights that broadcast images 24/7. Use of two-way webcams allows real time visual contact while communicating with loved ones that phone calls alone will not provide. Plus, webcams have become popular for grandparents to visually jeep up with their grandkids ever changing growth.
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